so many things = one thing

My last post was 50% bullshit. I do know why people want a commitment, i suppose what i don't understand is why people want the relationship more than the person.
I don't want anyone because I want a specific person. And i want a situation that is more than likely impossible.
I get wrapped up in the things i have to do, and the things i want for myself and in the back of my mind, there it is.

I'm not convinced.

Is finding a significant other the cure for loneliness? I'm not convinced. Everyone is looking for meaningfulness, but does it have to be in the form of a relationship? Is this how a good life is gauged? Maybe I don't know anyone who is worth it.
But why do so many people seem desperate?

a short artist statement. what do you think?

My pieces feel they are the collection of moments of sparkling clarity and complementary moments of dizzying dread, because of their ill-equipped memory. They use this mental puzzle to highlight a collective feeling of ever-shifting reality. Their language is influenced by Modern artists, but refers to abstract concepts within daily life such as blueprints, ephemera, geometry and cellular workings. I do not come to my surface with any preconceived thoughts, I let my medium speak.

my afternoon

I went at about 7 to pre-purchase mine and felicia's tickets for "Where the Wild Things Are", playing at midnight tonight. I walked into a frenzy of people coming into the theater, because I live in the town that houses the largest art school in the country. I walked up to a register to get my tickets and the young lady behind the counter was visibly frazzled and quickly asked me if I was a student or member of the military. I looked up at her and asked if I could pretend I was a student. She said sure. Oh, I gave her the biggest smile I could stand.
I then proceeded to staples next door for some notecards, and then next door again to Sally Beauty Supply to buy some new hair-cutting scissors. I asked the woman at Sally if they were hiring because she was really nice to me. I think she was being taped because she was being very coy and saying that it wasn't her place to say, but insisted I take an application with a wink.
I also finished my newest painting, putting me on my way to my goal: 6 new paintings by December. 2 down, 4 to go. easy peasy.

a tiny, well-made bed.

lately

heat walking building and stretching and painting running beach kittens heat cleaning air mattress neighbors pisces showering pizza wine echoes go-cups staying up late heat sexual frustration